Turned the last page. Finished Fall on Your Knees. Closed the book. Mixed some cocoa and made cinnamon toast.
Because that’s what one does after babies drown in a river. Cinnamon toast and hot cocoa is what one has after a series of tragic events hit one another and end your day in tears. Or at least this is what the characters in Fall on Your Knees do. This is what the Piper family does.
They eat cinnamon toast and drink hot cocoa — making all their troubles vanish. It seemed to be their ultimate comfort food.
So naturally, after finishing this book, after all the sadness, I had to mix in some cocoa and make cinnamon toast!

Photo Credit: Flickr: Mixing in the Cocoa Powder by Lisa Brewster
This Ann-Marie MacDonald novel – a saga spanning five generations of an Island family – is riddled with ghosts and saints and governed by a splice of Roman Catholic and Jungian magic: alchemical transformation, fertility quests, and shadow presences function as crafty plot devices. So much has happened to the Piper family that I find the rhythm of stirring cocoa powder into my milk, soothing. It helps me think about the tying theme of the book and make sense of it all.

Photo Credit: Flickr: Cinnamon is Good For You by Cinnema Addict
I followed this recipe to make the cinnamon toast, and as I was fooled by thoughts of simiplicity, thinking that cinnamon toast won’t really need a recipe, I’m glad I followed the recipe. It was methodical and didn’t disturb my thoughts of the book. Fall on Your Knees was a very intense book that I had to think about it and think about it and think about it some more. And of course, think about it while devouring cinnamon toast and hot cocoa.
At the end, this book was about motives for me. The characters in this book, even those outside of the Piper family, all dreamed. They dreamed of a future where they would be educated and successful and happily married. They dreamed of a future free of the bounds of where they were living. And a future where they would be able to show them. These characters all strove to rise about it all — driven to evil doings in the process. The book definitely showed that none of these characters were truly good, except for… well maybe Lily. Every other character had an evil side, masked by these dreams.
So.
At last, what will be my decision? Will I move forward with defending this book for Canada Reads 2010? Well, I still have Nikolski to finish (my final book). And, I still need to think about the emotions of Fall on Your Knees more. Perhaps I should make some kibbeh and tabooleh, in memory of Materia.
Side note:
I listened to many songs while going through this book and am thinking that maybe putting a soundtrack together will help put my emotions in check.
You can listen to the full soundtrack HERE.
1. Royksopp / What Else Is There?
This song made me think of Materia (the mother of the Piper family), who was ghost-like, walking by the edge of a cliff, looking for answers and salvation. She only had one wish too, to protect her daughter.
2. Bonobo / Ketto
For some reason the melody of this song makes me think of Frances. The singer’s whispers. The water dripping sound. It makes me think of the time when Frances was pregnant — the prayers and the baths that Mercedes would give her.
3. Llorca / Expectations
Evil is a necessity. It is the food of the genius. And the artist must know that art is ambiguous. And music the most ambiguous of the arts.
Oh, Kathleen!
4. Gabriel / Lamb
This book wasn’t all about sadness. There was love too. And momentary happiness.
5. Sibylle Baier / Tonight
Is this what they all wanted James to be like?
6. Mi and Lau / Older
Okay, so this one is out of place, disconnecting the flow of song to song. But in a way it reminded me of Frances’ plot, which also seemed out of place. No?
7. Mohair / Stranded
James was stranded in No Mans Land, in limbo, and so was Materia before the births of Mercedes and Frances, and so was Frances after the assumed death of her son, and so was, and so was, and it seemed like being stranded, being all ghost-like was what you just grew into.
8. Camera Obscura / Razzle Dazzle Rose
How serendipitous that I found this song? And it has Rose in it.
The salvation for the Piper family. The book ends with Rose. It ends with hope.
Rose, I’m feeling older
I was lucky like a four-leaved clover
tried to be happy but it wasn’t easy
When I choose my colour be Razzle Dazzle Rose
Oh, I’m feeling older
Courage my love will make me bolder
Expecting softness can lead to foolishness
When I choose my colour be Razzle Dazzle Rose